Sunday, December 11, 2011

Death and Texas

There is a saying - the only certainties in life are death and Texas.  After living in this great state for the past 30 years, I can say that it is true.  Texas is more than just a place, it is a state of mind.
When you are driving down the road and some giant truck fills your rearview mirror, urging you to get out of its way even though you are in the slow lane.  That is Texas.
When you are at a restaurant and the waiter asks if you would like the small chicken friend steak or the large and you order the large.  That is Texas.
When you shoot a Coyote during your morning run because it was in your way.  That is Texas.
Texas is about big.  It is about tough and rough.  It is about over doing it, and then doing it some more.  Texas is about how much, how often, and how long.  Texas spelled backwards is Saxet.  Don’t mess with Texas because Texas knows where you live. Texas wears spurs while asleep.  Texas is.  Texas does.  And Texas did.
Walker, Texas Ranger is Texas, which means that Chuck Norris is Texas as well.  Nothing can compete with Chuck Norris.  Looking at Chuck Norris is like trying to have a staring contest with the sun.  You lose.
Texas is football.  It is band and cheerleaders, drill team and pep squad, costumed mascots and live animals.  What do people farm in Texas - linebackers.  Our Gross Domestic Product is measured in rattlesnake skins.  Texas has a National Beer - Lone Star.  Every morning, millions of students say a pledge.  To Texas.
Texas is the home of the Alamo, remember that?  We say “Y’all.”  What are y’all going to do about it?  Nothing.  I thought so.
As Davy Crocket told his friends - “You may all go to Hell and I will go to Texas.”

Frank Chambers


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