Sunday, March 13, 2011

The Charlie Sheen Effect: Winning!

Full of #TigerBlood!

Mr. Sheen has done us all a great service these last few weeks.  In his efforts, whether planned or unintentional, he has drawn our eyes away from all that is negative in this world, providing comedic value he could never have contributed through the tiny medium that is prime time network television.  Instead, he has raced to a Guinness World Record for Twitter followers, eaten up the entertainment segments on news shows, news magazines, talk shows, radio shows, blogs, and local conversation.
We all have some sort of career plan in the works, whether we know it or not.  Let’s imagine Charlie’s.
  1. Be in the movies.
  2. Be on TV
  3. Have porn parties and do LOTS of drugs.
  4. Fake rehab.
  5. Rinse and repeat steps 3 and 4 ad libitum.
  6. Upon the achievement of supposed insanity, move to step 9.
  7. Meltdown in the national media, creating the “Charlie Sheen” brand.  Take the brand on tour.  
  8. (Coming in 2013) Convince the world it was all planned.  Return to step 1.
Well, Chuck, I see that your career plan is definitely on track, although I might suggest that you lingered just a little too long in steps 3 and 4, but it definitely helped convince us of step 6.  Bravo!  Charlie Sheen FTW!  (for the win, all you out of touch with modern text lingo).
Getting a #TigerBlood infusion!
Actually, I was giving blood,
which is probably better.
Pardon the tangent, but my boss threw text lingo into conversation this week during a work conversation.  He told us “he was aware of the sit, BTW.”  He is 51, with a full head of grey hair.  The two of us (both young enough to be his kids), couldn’t help but giggle at his cuteness.  It was a little bit like watching one of those gorillas who known sign language.  I think everyone under the age of 35 who has seen their parents struggle with the new language can associate.
Anyway, back to Mr. Adonis DNA.  His efforts to find the center of crazy town have lead people to choose sides.  Are you pro-Sheen or pro-RealNews?  Facebook and Twitter have become a battleground for these two sides, leaving status updates and tweets littered with malicious commentary.  This week I have been challenged to join the masses and follow @CharlieSheen, helping to cement his place in the record books.  Personally, I think Charlie should follow @fxciv, he might benefit from some of my blogs.
On the other side of the argument, I have been begged to include RealNews status updates so people can actually be aware of current events.  One such touching status update was designed to help honor the sacrifice of four young Marines in Afghanistan.  The fervor over Charlie Sheen had knocked them from the news, shamefully relegating their sacrifice to that of facebook updates.
Amazingly enough, the Warlock himself has fueled his own fire, vomiting tweets with hashtags such as #Winning!, #tigerblood, #fastball.  Either he is the craziest man ever, or he needs to give his manager a raise for such amazing worldwide exposure.  I have a feeling the next thing we will hear from Mr. Sheen at the completion of his stage tour will be that he as accepted a reality TV show deal and will be paid more than anyone on TV has ever been paid! #Winning!
The reality of the situation, regardless of the person, is America’s lust for distraction.  Charlie has taken our minds away from topics that some see as too stressful.  Do we want to hear about the fact that Governors are doing a bigger chop job on state budgets than Mickey Mouse did on the brooms in Fantasia?  Do we want to hear about violence in the Iraq or Afghanistan?  Are we interested in the struggle for freedom in Northern Africa and the brutality with which Mr. Ghadaffi is bringing down the hammer?  
Can we blame Charlie Sheen for the gas prices?  No.  And that is why we pay attention to him.
While many of us are concerned with all of these topics, too much can lead to a meltdown, increasing our own personal stress until we succumb to the same mental breakdowns Mr. Sheen might or might not be experiencing.  While the Torpedo of Truth certainly has his own problems, he has at least allowed us to be distracted from our own for a little while.  For that, we can thank him.  Now, let’s get back on track and focus on what is important.

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