Save a Pretzel for the Gas Jets!

I am for Rick Perry.  That is right.  You did not misread the words.  I did not stutter.  I am supporting Rick Perry for the President of the United States of America.  Governor Good Hair has proven himself worthy, earning my vote for the 2012 General Election.

My position may come as a surprise to some of you as many of my previous blogs have railed against the Governor as being out of touch with education, preferring to favor the wants of his cronies before the needs of his constituents, and pursuing a type of government that supports those with power over those with the least.  I understand your confusion, after all, I have only recently come to the decision to support Mr. Perry myself.

What changed my mind?  Let me lay it out for you.  This country is in a bad place.  We have definitely been far worse - the 1930s, the 1860s, the 1810s, the 1770s - but not by much.  This country is in need of something different, something Rick Perry has to offer that we haven’t seen since the likes of George W. Bush.  We need humor.  We need strategery.

What could be better than a country full of smiling Americans?  We would be the goodwill ambassadors to the world, spreading our cheer everywhere we go.  

What recession?  We have laughter.  (nb: we are not currently in a recession)

What debt crisis?  We have joy.

High unemployment?  We are high on life!

Has the stock market got you down?  Angry about the conflict in Afghanistan?  Sick of hitting the pavement looking for a job?  Never fear.  With President Rick Perry, all of your cares and worries will vanish immediately.  

Never has a country needed a pick me up like we do.  The Governor’s amazing ability to lend himself to parody and satire are perfect for the job.  Just check out his latest campaign video.  

SAVE A PRETZEL FOR THE GAS JETS!!!!  I can get behind that.

In fact, I can get behind a President who favors Hot Yellow Kool-Aid.  Can’t you?  I’ll drink that Kool-aid!

The Republican battle for the presidential nomination is exceedingly boring, save for Rick Perry.  Most of these people are way too serious.  I think it would be fun to have a president named Herman, but Cain looks like he gets paid by the frown.  

If Michelle Bachman would turn to the camera every once in a while and make her famous crazy eyes, I might be more supportive, but she prefers the serious, motherly look.  

Huntsman has some comedic value, but I am afraid he will either succumb to skin cancer or shrivel up like a raisin before the election.  

Ron Paul is . . . well . . . he is Ron Paul.  I am just waiting for the punch line from him, something like, “y’all know I am just kidding about this repeal talk, right?  JK, LOL!”

Besides, he kind of looks like Magneto from X-Men.  I don't know that I liked Magneto's politics either (although they are very similar, aren't they).

But, Rick Perry trumps it all.  Well, unless Trump jumps back into the race.  I can just see Trump’s speech after winning - “Barack Obama . . . You’re Fired!”  Speaking of Obama, there is a serious man.  The reason this country is sitting on the edge of a financial precipice right now has nothing to do with Washington politics or overreaching banking institutions, rather, President Obama is just too serious.  

When Obama speaks, I am soothed, I am comforted by his tone.  I am lulled into a sense of peace.  Comfort?  Peace?  No thank you!  I want to laugh, smile, pat my friends on the back, and not be cajoled into false confidence in the future.  Even the attempts to parody Obama don’t live up to what Perry has to offer, and besides, Obama has a foul mouth.

Basically, what I am saying is that our country needs to head in a new direction, a direction dictated by a man whose intrinsic value is measured in his ability to produce laughter, not in his ability to adeptly answer questions posed to him during debates.  

Rick Perry is that man.

And He Was Running . . . for Office

I know he isn't running, but I
couldn't resist.

One of my readers asked whether or not he would have a chance if he chose to run for office.  In the spirit of the pre-primary season we have swirling around us, I think this is an excellent question.  When I was younger, I used to fancy that I would be the youngest President of the United States ever.  The earliest age at which a person could be voted into the office of President is 35; I have three years left before I have to kick off my campaign.

Today’s national election process is less about values and more about money.  The upcoming Presidential campaign is estimated to be the first billion dollar campaign.  With the creation of Super PACs and the legalization of unlimited campaign contributions, corporations and foreign entities now have the ability to donate as much money as they like, provided the Super PAC does not officially have an affiliation with a designated candidate.

Because of the new provisions on campaign finance, running for office has become more expensive than ever.  The questions my friend has to answer are pretty simple - 

1. Does what I have to say appeal to people?
2. Will my political positions benefit anyone, and how funded are they?

The first question is important because a candidate needs to be able to cater to the masses.  My friend would have to make sure he has a clearly defined message, carefully articulated to encompass the beliefs of a large bloc of people interested in being politically active.  With the 24 news cycle, his message will instantly go viral, even were he to only run for local office.  The message he will preach from his political pulpit doesn’t necessarily have to be one he believes in, but if he convinces the masses that he believes in, and they believe it as well, then he is as good as elected.

You can see this in today’s candidates.  The political climate has changed from four years ago, we are more polarized, with each side of the aisle stepping farther and farther away from each other.  The candidates on either side will echo the party sentiment, whether or not they were that extreme in their last election.  Their values might not have changed, but the polls suggest their position needs to.

Ultimately, the answer to the first question will also answer the second.  If your message appeals to the right people, the money will come pouring in.  Your message doesn’t necessarily have to be the most popular, the most well put-together, or even the most realistic.  If your message appears to benefit those who have the most financial stake in the game, they will jump to your side, form a Super PAC with unlimited funding and unofficially support you.

This is why values no longer seem to play a part in our elections.  America is a nation founded on capitalist values which dictate that the dollar is our almighty, our reverend, and our highest idol.  Those who have the most dollars have the largest sway because they have the most to gain and the most to lose.  They see political campaigns as investments in the future and they want those investments to pay off.

So, to my reader friend who aspires to political office, you only have to answer two questions to know if you would ever succeed in claiming political office.  If the answer is yes, by all means, go for it.  I will even form a Super PAC in your name.  But, of course, I won’t officially support you.

Tipping Over

We have seen some of the top ten drops in the stock market in the last couple of  weeks, leaving many an investment conscious American’s head spinning.  People are panicking, feeling the urgent need to SELL SELL SELL!  Gold has skyrocketed to record highs, oil has descended on the worries of a drop in global demand as the world economy slows.

A passenger in an English cab was killed, shot by police in what was supposed to be a routine stop on the suspicion of gun-possession.  At a vigil protesting what was assumed to be over the top police aggression and mourning the loss of of the 29 year old Mark Duggan, violence erupted, destroying what was supposed to be a peaceful protest.  Now, after days of continuous looting and rioting, sections of London and other English urban centers are struggling to figure out just what happened.  Fear grips the cities as night descends, leaving citizens to wonder if the engorged police presence is enough to deter the disenfranchised youth from taking to the streets again.

The American political system appears to be stuck in deadlock.  Politicians on either side of the aisle have dug in, establishing trench warfare.  They lob grenades at each other from a distance, uninterested in truly engaging the issues, preferring to dodge and feint, hide and watch.  The result is a pensive public, full of individuals who fear they have lost their voice in their future.  The only thing certain right now is uncertainty.

It feels as if the world is about to tip over the edge and descend into chaos and anarchy.  But, it doesn't have to.

I would like to suggest a perspective.  Recently, the New York Times was blasted for including a cover picture of a young Somalian boy suffering from starvation.  The picture is definitely graphic, showing every detail in the small skeleton.  He is curled up, covering his face and his nakedness - here is a link to the photo.  

Why was the Times blasted for the photo?  Because American sensibilities refuse to acknowledge the tribulations others go through on this planet.  We sit inside our windowless towers, ignoring the plight of the rest of the world.  Occasionally we give to an aid foundation or sponsor a mission through a local church, but more often than not we are concerned about mere trivialities in life.  Burger King or McDonalds?  Red Box or Netflix?  Tall, Grande, or Venti?  Paper or plastic?

Our concerns and decisions pale in when compared to the real plight of many within and beyond our borders.  So our stock market is falling.  At least we are eating while this boy is not.

In England, the riots are supposedly attacking the rich, the police,  and the government, as a way to protest their oppression.  While there may be a few rioters with this in mind, many of the news stories coming from London and the surrounding cities illuminate the real cause for the looting - opportunism.  

Many of the youth taking to the streets seek no more than goods to bring home.  They are shopping through broken windows and broken lives.  They attack the stores in their neighborhood simply because the rich might shop there, never giving second thought to the financial situation of the owner.  They set fire to buildings, cars, buses, and whole city blocks, destroying entire livelihoods in the process.  There is no organization beyond the common bond of chaos.  There is no protest.  Many of the youth have responded to the question of why with an extremely hypocritical answer - if the politicians can be corrupt, and the rich can have whatever they want through financial manipulation, why can’t we?

On our own shores, we constantly hear and see accounts of who is to blame for our financial and political situation.  In Washington, self serving politicians take every advantage they can to explain why they aren’t the bad guy.  Many of these politicians started out years ago with a goal to make the United States a better place.  They outlined their hopes and dreams, worked hard to climb the political ladder, and finally made it to the national ladder.  The problem becomes the temptation of power and money.  Washington has corrupted our leaders, causing them to forget the reason they are there.

How do all three of these relate to each other?  They are all symptoms of the same disease - a self-centered existence.  

The recent recession and the budding stagnation of the world economy have been driven primarily by one element - over reaching.  In our attempt to constantly chase the American dream and achieve that life of MORE, the rich strive to get richer, corporations and their stock holders eagerly await higher stock prices, the middle and lower class try to keep up with the Joneses, burying themselves  in debt.  The government of the United States has done the same thing, extending expenditures beyond income.  We are at a tipping point because of our self satisfying actions.

Because of our extreme self-centeredness, we ignore the world beyond us, whining about our own problems as we continue to spend ruthlessly beyond our means.

The English riots are nothing more than extreme instant gratification.  Instead of following the American way and charging the new kicks, they chose instead to break the plate glass and take them.  Their self-centeredness blocks out any concern for who owns the shop, how many workers might be affected by the destruction, and how it can hurt those around them.  They are focused only on themselves and have no concern for anyone else.

Our politicians are the same way.  They have become lost in power.  Their only goal is to be re-elected and gain more.  Through their seat, they have become corrupted, losing sight of the reasons they are there.  They are self-centered and egocentric.

Find a way to break this cycle in your own life.  Learn about the world, help those beyond yourself, behave responsibly, and strive to make the world a better place.  Be aware of how your actions affect others as well as yourself.  Turn your focus outwards, because right now, we are about to tip over and fall into our own greed.  We can change that though, if we just take a step back.

I would love to make September a reader-focused month.  My plan is to build a series on your thoughts and ideas, focusing on issues you see in your daily experiences.  Email me your ideas and I will put together the September plan.

Thanks to everyone ahead of time!